Tuesday, November 30, 2010

300 and The Break Up

Four years ago, I saw the movie "300". The following is my immediate reaction to seeing that movie after having it highly recommended to me. Bear in mind I have NOT seen "300" since, so my views may have changed. That being said, my views on "The Break Up" remain the same. Jennifer Aniston is the worst. Please enjoy.

I have to get something off my chest, and I may come away from this having a couple less friends, but I have to put it out there. ..

There has been something happening more and more frequently to me lately. People keep telling me about these "awesome" and "amazing" movies that I just "absolutely HAVE to see, because it is the best piece of cinematic gold ever created". So what happens? I get REALLY excited to see these movies, and then I spend $10 to go and see this "life changing film", and it ends up being the cheesiest piece of crap I've ever seen. 

In the past month I have encountered this twice. The two movies I speak of are "The Break Up", which I think was quite possibly the shittiest movie I have ever seen, and "300". I just don't get it. I went to see "300" with 3 other people, and they all were as disappointed as I was. Not one person warned us that it wasn't that good, so I feel that I have to take a stand, and let everyone know that "300" is nothing more than "Braveheart: Roman Edition". I actually got bored. When we were 25 minutes into the 3rd fight scene, I could have fallen asleep, not going to lie. Also, I found the movie to be a little...how do I put this?...gay. Jamie and I decided that this was possibly the gayest movie we had ever seen. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but there were definitely certain parts of the movie where we were uncontrollably laughing about the blatantly homoerotic undertones.

Just a little gay?
And briefly touching on "The Break Up"...I didn't get it. I just didn't. I couldn't understand how two people in an adult relationship could be as daft as these two. The whole movie was about Jennifer Aniston being a total bitch, to get Vince Vaugn to love her, which he already did. Aw, "baby wanted 12 lemons", tough shit, he's a guy, he forgot, you should have done it yourself. I would drink lots of beer and play playstation if she was bitching in my ear too. Its more exciting than listening to her speak. Friends of mine actually get offended when I tell them how much I HATE this movie.

The WORST movie I have ever seen.
All I'm asking is that if you are going to make a big fuss about a movie, make sure that you warn someone, that they may not feel the same way. All that needs to be said is "I thought this movie was great, however, there are parts of this movie (possibly the entire thing) that you may not like. I am simply telling you this because you are my friend, and I don't want you to waste $10, and two hours of your life to come out of this movie and want to kick me in the balls."
That's all I'm asking.
Sidenote: After putting the finishing touches on this post, I found THIS Wired article supporting my argument about 300.

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