Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Snakes on a Muthaf***in' Plane! By Evan T.

Hello All.  I'm gonna do a freakin' sweet write up of this movie's awesomeness, but there will be SPOILER INFORMATION, So beware......

Ok, so here's some reasons why this movie is the zenith of movie making.

 1) Snakes on a Wang - A dude taking a whiz is attacked from the toilet by a snake which latches onto his junk as he screams "Get off my Dick". Amazing.

2) Boobies - They added some boobies in the five days of re-shoots and it was worth it. Also, a snakes attacks these boobies, chomping down on her nipple. Breathtaking...

3) An Asian Dude Karate Chops a Snake...To Death! - An Asian dude who just got done with a kickboxing tournament save a female passenger and in the process ninja death chops a snake. Magnificent.

4) Snake Vision - Apparently snakes see in a fuzzy fish-eye green vision. That's some straight out of Animal Planet shit right there. Awe-Inspiring

5) Freakishly Nasty Snake Deaths - Snakes bite necks, eyes, mouths, arms, feet and other places. One dude gets trampled and has a woman's high heel get stuck in his brain. Snakes fight each other. And an anaconda eats a dude whole. Not Bad.

6) David Koechner - You might know him as Cooter from the Dukes of Hazzard movie or  Champ Kind from Anchorman. He plays a pervy airline co-pilot and is an awesome surprise addition. Outstanding.

7) Samuel L. Jackson - Jesus, man, he is the baddest mutha fucka on the planet kickin snake ass all over this plane with tazers, spear guns, makeshift flamethrowers and broken bottles. He is THE MAN and he hates muthafuckin snakes on that muthafuckin plane.

8) Hilarious editing when watching on basic cable television - So, somewhere where movies get edited for content and language, someone thought changing " I have had it with these motha fuckin snakes on this motha fuckin plane!" to "I have had it with these monkey fighting snakes on this Monday through Friday plane!" was totally legitimate. The second line is actually no more odd in context.

Yes, this is a major movie. It has Suspense, Action, Horror, Comedy, and Drama. And if you pretend that Neville Flynn is actually Mace Windu in disguise, you have Sci Fi. I wish i had the vocabulary to properly describe this movie but I am woefully inadequate. See this movie. Then tell a friend and see it again. Till next time , I'll be waiting for Snakes 2: Muthafuckin Bugaloo

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