Saturday, November 6, 2010

Steven Seagal Lawman Drinking Game Saturday!

Hello hello! So, last night The Editor and I were flipping through the Seagate (which is WAY better than a DVR) trying to figure out what to spend our evening watching. Like lightening, it hit us both at the same moment: Steven Seagal Lawman. "Steven Seagal Lawman" is a fantastic, generally overlooked TV show about actor Steven Seagal's career as a deputy sheriff in Jefferson Parish, Louisiana. We laughed through the first season, and plowed through the first half of the second season, when it came to me that "Steven Seagal Lawman" would be the best drinking game ever.

If you are unfamiliar with the show, here is the synopsis from A&E:

"Steven Seagal Lawman" - His movies have grossed more than $2 billion worldwide. He is an expert martial artist with a 7th-degree black belt in Aikido. He's considered to be in the same class of action hero as Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger. However, Steven Seagal isn't just an action hero in the movies. For almost 20 years, Seagal has been working as a fully commissioned deputy with the Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office in Louisiana. In addition to going out on patrol, Seagal is an expert marksman who has worked with their SWAT team and has instructed Jefferson Parish officers in firearms and hand-to-hand combat.
"Steven Seagal Lawman" will allow fans to ride shotgun with Seagal as he and his hand-selected elite team of deputies respond to crimes in progress. Then, when Seagal goes off duty, the cameras will continue following him as he pursues his many ventures, including musical performances and philanthropic efforts in Jefferson Parish and New Orleans.

The Editor and I came up with the rules of the game. Basically, you take a drink any time one of the following things happen;

  • Steven Seagal breaks a sweat
  • Steven Seagal tries to speak with an "urban" accent
  • Steven Seagal yells "Get 'em Johnny!"
  • A suspect is a black male
  • "Seagal vision" is used
  • Steven Seagal references the orient
  • Someone asks Steven Seagal for an autograph
  • Steven Seagal ironically refers to himself as a "movie star"
  • Steven Seagal pulls out a guitar
I asked The Editor if I was missing anything, and he promptly told me that if I added anything else to the list that people would die from alcohol poisoning. Happy drinking! Just remember, Steven Seagal is ALWAYS watching.

               funny animated gif

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