Friday, April 1, 2011

WTF Rant of the Week: Snooki

Okay, so earlier in the week, I found THIS blog post. I was skeptical at first, but when I actually sat down and read it, it made a lot of sense. JWoww actually does have a pretty good outlook on life, and at her core seems to be a pretty good person. I watched "The Jersey Shore" for the first season, and it got old pretty quick to me, but JWoww was definitely the least abrasive of the group. She is pretty, and she's likable, unlike a certain troll on the show.

It's a tie between Snooki and The Situation for me as to who is the most irritating person on the show. The Situation is a total moron, who I feel gets a lot more credit than he deserves. I'm always listening to The Editor and Evan T. talk about how his idiocy is just an act, and he's actually way smarter than we all think. Yeah, I'm calling bullshit on that one. Sure, he likes to stir the pot, I have guy friends who do that too. Sure, he likes to watch chicks fight, but usually boys like to watch that too, in anticipation that an article of clothing may get torn off. But at his core, I truly believe that the gel in his hair, and the chemicals in the spray tan have caused some mild retardation.

Did anyone happen to watch the Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump? It was unreal. The Editor and Evan T. were very uncomfortable and even felt bad for The Situation when he failed to deliver any sort of comedy, and was booed off stage. It was at that moment that I realized that true celebrities saw what I saw, a douchebag reality star who wanted to pretend he was famous by making fun of famous people who are always going to A)  be more talented and B) have more money than him. I couldn't have been happier that he was finally being put in his place.

But I digress... This article is about the troll. In all of the time that the boys have been watching "The Jersey Shore", I have never heard a single intelligent thought come out of her mouth. Listening to her speak is like being awoken by the sound of a fire truck's siren at 3 AM when I'm sleeping, and looking at her is like watching a drunk hippo trying to hump another drunk hippo. At first it's funny to look at because you're trying to figure out what's going on, then the red rocket comes out and you realize what you're looking at, and you're like "Eeeeewwwwwww.....".

This all has a point to it, and here it is. Rutgers University hired Snooki to come and speak at their school. The kick in the ass? They paid her $32,000 to do it. $32,000. Let that sink in for a minute. Okay, lets say that you have a kid. You live in the state of New Jersey where Rutgers is located. Your kid is a freshmen. You and your significant other have been saving to send this kid to college since the time it was born. You've sacrificed. You've skipped vacations, and you decided to get the used car instead of the new car, all so that little nameless can go to a good school and get a good job someday. How THRILLED are you that not only do they hire a person who tells your kid "Study hard, but party harder!", but they also pay her as much as a FUCKING YEAR OF TUITION?! I mean, sure, you hire Maya Angelou, or some sort of Nobel-peace prize winning author, but SNOOKI?! For the LOVE OF GOD, you hire someone who is well on her way to dying from liver disease, an STD, or skin cancer by the time she's 40? I mean, seriously?

From what I understand, it was a student fund that put all of this together. To that I say, shame on you. It's so impossibly sad to me that the upcoming generation of people see her as a role model. It's sad that the upcoming generation looks up to ANY of them as role models. As well meaning as JWoww is, the words "role model" are not the first words I can think of when I think of her. The Editor and I are expecting a baby girl who is due in July, and honestly, the sheer lack of role models of today's society scares the shit out of me. We need more Biz Stones, Jack Dorseys and Chris Weltys and way less Snooki's and Teen Moms and Bachelors. I understand the need for entertainment, but since when did we decide that in our society, any behavior goes, and the worst behavior you have the bigger your star rises (Lindsey Lohan, I'm looking at you)? It's all just very sad to me.

HERE is the link to the biggest bullshit I've ever heard

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