Monday, April 25, 2011

Summer Movie Meltdown

So The Editor, Evan T., myself and a couple of other nerds got into a heated discussion last Nerd Night regarding the upcoming Summer superhero movies. The question posed was "Which movie will do awesome, and which one(s) will flop?". I really need to invest in some sort of audio recorder, because the conversation was so dorky and got so much nerd rage going, that I feel I need to share it with the world. Anyhoo, here were our findings...

The movies that were worthy of making this list were; X-Men: first Class, Thor, Captain America and Green Lantern. The boys all picked their pony and the findings were very interesting.

The movies ended up basically in two categories, top of the list and bottom of the list. We were all in agreement that Thor and Cap would be in the top 2, and X-Men and Green Lantern would be in the bottom two. My personal thoughts top grossing to least grossing are as follows: Captain America, Thor, Green Lantern, X-Men.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a HUGE fan of Ryan Reynolds, and also a HUGE fan of DC, but lets face it, besides the Dark Knight franchise, DC isn't exactly making the best superhero movies. I mean, I LOVED Watchmen, but I can totally understand why people didn't. It was marketed as something it wasn't, and it was too smart for a lot of moviegoers. The story should have been told on screen 20 years ago when it had more relevance. Also, just watching the Green Lantern trailer makes me cringe a little. I think that the hokey factor is through the roof, and anyone who isn't familiar with the source material is going to be sitting there going "Why the 'ef did I just pay $10 to see a talking squirrel, and a bunch of dudes who can be killed by the color yellow?".

Again, DC misses the mark. They have every opportunity to make some kick ass stuff, but they don't listen to their audience. For the 1,000,000th time I ask, "Why no Wonder Woman movie?". Dudes would TOTALLY go out to watch a hot chick in tight clothes kicking ass, and girls would watch because, hell, it's friggen' Wonder Woman! I mean, lets look at the new upcoming Superman movie for a second. Once again, from what I understand, we will be told Clark Kent's origin story. Ew. I mean, really? Can't we just do it Superman:Earth One style and just address it in flashbacks? Or maybe take a cue from the newest Hulk movie, and do the origin in the opening credits? Until DC starts listening to its fans, they're not going to be able to beat Marvel at the box office. Plain and simple.

Next up on the chopping block is X-Men: First Class. I'm a HUGE X-Men fan, but *YAAAAAAAWN*. I really don't care. I mean, literally I could. Not. Give. A. Shit. I like my X-Men, I like their stories, I don't really give a rats ass about their origin. I think it being set in the 60's is a bad move because the plot is going to be lost on a lot of their core audience. You think that a 10 to 18 year old is going to understand the historical ramifications of what is going on in that time period? Try and ask a 14 year old who Celine Dion is, and they'll look at you like "Who the 'ef is that?". It's nice that they feel that we need a whole movie explaining Eric and Xavior's history, but I think the vast majority of people just want to see the X-Men kicking ass and taking names. Also, as pretty as she is, I've watched "Mad Men" and I'm reeeeeeally wondering in January Jones has the acting chops to pull off Emma Frost. I just hope we don't turn this into another "X-Men 3"...

Which brings me to Thor. Hmmmmm.... Evan T. seems to think that this will be the movie to win big at the box office. I disagree because at the end of the day, who really gives a shit about Thor? I mean that in the nicest way possible. I have NEVER been tempted to pick up a Thor comic. Not ever. I like Norse gods and fantasy and medieval, mythical settings, I just am not in the least bit excited to see this. I think it will do well at the box office because Thor is an Avenger and when they make the Avengers movie, I have a feeling that we'll be seeing him again, so we'll want to learn what we can about him and how it ties to the franchise. I think kids will like this movie because it seems like fun. There's a hammer and a god of thunder, and all sorts of cool fantasy type backgrounds, so I think it allows your imagination to run away with you a little more since it is not necessarily completely grounded in reality. One last little sidenote about the casting in this one: I honestly used to LOVE Natalie Portman, but she has now reached Zoe Saldana territory for me. I'm soooo tired of seeing her in every movie I watch. I'm hoping that she pops this kid out and disappears for a while, so I can miss her and begin to mend my love for her again.

Last but not least, there is Captain America. Love him or hate him, Cap has always been an A-lister in the Marvel world. His story is fantastic, albeit a little "Austin-Powers"ish, but at the end of the day Cap is a mans man. He is one of the leaders of the Avengers, and he has old timey values, just like one of the most beloved DC figureheads, Superman. He believes in truth, justice and the American way. I think the combination of story, likable actors, and the fact that he has the word "America" in his title, will make this the blockbuster. Also, if you watch the trailer, you see Steve Rogers as a weak, dorky looking guy who wants to fight for his country, and gets rejected because he's too small. He volunteers for the super soldier project and becomes a powerhouse! It's the classic "ugly duckling to swan" scenario, and who doesn't want to see that? Of all of the trailers I watched, this one was the only one that gave me goosebumps. Also, three words "Tommy Lee Jones".

I'll have to ask my authority on comic book movies what he thinks about all of these movies to really be able to see where the cards will most likely fall. My authority is my 9 year old nerd buddy, Clark, who lives across the street and he's awesome.Anyhoo, I hope you all had a fantastic weekend! I'm sorry for dumping a huge post on you this early in the week, but I've been storing all of these thoughts since last Wednesday, so I had a lot to say. Have a super week, and I'll blog ya back here tomorrow!

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